That's where I am right now.
Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE who I am. I am proud and honored to be a Mother and Wife and there is no other title that I would rather carry. But at the same time, I can't help but feel like a part of me is missing. A part of me that I thought I left with my childhood and didn't even realize I missed as much as I do.
I came to this realization last week while at the gym. I was in the middle of working out and all of the sudden "What you Own" from the musical Rent came on my MP3 player and I smiled, a true genuine smile that I had not seen in a while. I stopped right there in the middle of the gym and let the song finish out, enjoying the beautiful harmonies and reminiscing in the first time I saw this amazing musical. See, growing up, my life was consumed with Musical Theater. I performed in at least 3 musicals a year, my weekends were spent traveling to LA to see the latest musical, front row (Thank You student rush tickets!) and in high school every day was filled with Show Choir. Oh yes, just like Glee! We sported the sequined dresses, learned the choreography and competed and won in several competitions. It was (is) my passion!
What happened? To be honest, I don't know. Maybe in my move to FL I wanted to create a new me or maybe it just consumed my life for so long. But what I do know is that in the 11yrs I have lived in FL I have seen 4 musicals. 4!! And 2 of them, I had to fly to New York to see. I guess it also doesn't help that I married someone who hates music. Seriously, who hates music?!
So, this year I'm channeling the old Krista. I'm going to listen to my favorite musicals daily and see more performances, I may even drag the hubs to one every once in a while...he owes me! Lord knows I've seen enough bodybuilding competitions to last a lifetime! I'm going to sing more...and not just in the shower! I may even audition for the local theater, who knows? It seems like such simple things to do to bring a little bit of me back, but I think it's going to make a world a difference.
Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in life that you forget about yourself. Do you feel like you've given up a piece of you? What can you do to bring it back into your life?
7 comments:
I can definitely relate. I'm a painter -- or at least I used to be :-P I couldn't tell you the last time I picked up a brush. After two kids (and a stepdaughter) I feel like it's just now starting to catch up with me. I'm working toward carving out a little chunk of time in the day for 'me time' but I haven't quite gotten there yet. :-/
We must have the same brain because I just wrote up a post about this too. It's been sitting in my draft file for 2 weeks.
And my husband hates music too? What is up with that? I will go to musicals with you :)
First, thanks for coming out of your de-lurking status! Secondly, I can totally relate. Your entire post was my new year's resolution. I wanted to get back to the "me" that I lost. We tend to lose ourselves once we have kids, we forget to love our partners in that way we originally fell in love. It is hard, but you just have to tell yourself not to forget yourself, even if it's sitting down to read a blog, or to dance for twenty minutes. You just have to make time for yourself.
:)
I can totally relate. Still stumbling through finding a good hobby for myself but I did get myself some alone time. And that has changed my life. I didn't realize what 15 months of "no LA time" did to me until I woke up a shadow of myself. Within a week of starting MDO I was better mother and wife because I was happy again. Crazy what us Momma's put ourselves through.
I miss it too! Maybe its time to get annual seats - oh yeah we live in two different cities. I know you can move back here and we can get tickets together and go back to those good ol days. Or maybe hangin' with mom is not what you had in mind. Love you - mom (using Al's acct)
I don't really know who I am, I'm still trying to figure that out. It seems like you definitely have a grasp on who you are and that person is definitely still in there. Don't feel guilty for trying to find her :)
I've definitely been there! Sounds like your recent decision to start weight watchers is a great step in the right direction because it's something for yourself. It's so easy to get wrapped up in everyone elses needs before your own. I just started my own weight watchers journey and so far I feel much better. Best of luck to you!
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